Is Ego the Enemy… or Just a Small Part of Who We Are?

We hear it everywhere. The ego is the enemy. Something to be dismantled, transcended, slain. A thousand modern gurus, a million spiritual memes, all whisper the same message: if you want inner peace, kill the ego.

But lately I’ve been wondering if that’s too simple, are we too eager to carve life into simple binaries. Because the ego isn’t some monstrous force crouched in the shadows. It’s just a tool - a small, persistent lens that helps us navigate the swirl of experiences we call life.

Ego gives us continuity. It holds together the narrative of who we are: name, history, preferences, wounds, little triumphs. It’s the reason we can meet a friend for coffee and still recognise ourselves across the years. Without it, we’d be adrift, each moment disconnected from the next.

Of course, the danger comes when we forget it’s just one part of us. When the lens becomes the whole landscape. That’s when the ego shifts from guide to tyrant, convincing us that every slight is a mortal wound, every ambition a crusade for identity. It tries to keep us safe - sometimes by building walls we no longer need.

And maybe more importantly, ego is yet another useful limitation. Without it, we’d be perfect - untouched by the small missteps, the overreaches, the petty insecurities. But it’s precisely in those imperfections that we grow. On a soul-level, we learn why we made certain choices, why we judged them right or wrong, why we did what we did. The ego becomes a growth tool, shaping the terrain where deeper understanding can take root.

Over the last six months, ego has become less of an enemy to me, and more of an  invitation to self-reflect. I’ve found myself pausing more often, asking simple but revealing questions: Why am I doing this? What does this serve? Is this decision ego-driven or soul-driven?

It doesn’t always give me clear answers. Often it only adds another layer of ambiguity. But even that pause - that half-step back - seems to loosen the grip.

It reminds me that the ego is not the total sum of who I am. Just a loyal, sometimes misguided part, trying to secure meaning and safety in a shifting world.

So is ego the enemy? I’m not so sure anymore. Perhaps it’s more like an overeager companion, always piping up, often afraid of being left behind. Maybe our task isn’t to banish it, but to see it clearly. To use it where it serves, and set it aside where it doesn’t.

And perhaps, if we stopped treating the ego like a monster to be slain, we’d find it becomes a little quieter all on its own. Just another part of us, still learning how to be.