Don’t Confuse ‘Not Now’ With ‘Not Ever’

It’s amazing how easily we mistake timing for finality.

Years ago, you might have stood on the edge of something that felt too big. Maybe it was writing the book, launching the business, making the move, opening your heart again. At the time, you didn’t feel ready. So you stepped back. Maybe you even told yourself you were never going to try.

But so often what we call “impossible” is just “not yet.”

We forget how much life can stretch us in little increments that might otherwise slip under the radar. How days and months and years of ordinary living add layers to who we are - resilience built through setbacks, perspective sharpened by losses and small victories. We grow more than we realise, often in places we don’t see until they’re tested.

Two years ago, I spent six weeks at a fitness camp in Phuket. There was one exercise I actually looked forward to: pushing truck tires down a gravel track and then dragging them back.

I thought it would be easy. It’s just a tire, right? But those things weigh anywhere from 30 to 80 kilograms. The first time I tried the 80kg tire, I managed a lap or two, but I couldn’t finish the full ten. I had to drop down to a lighter 40kg just to keep going. Six weeks later, the challenge hadn’t changed… the tire still weighed 80kg.

But I had changed. By the end of that camp, I could do all ten laps at the full weight. Not because the task got easier, but because I got stronger, little by little, every week.

It’s a simple truth we often forget. We mistake “not now” for “not ever.” Just because we can’t handle something today doesn’t mean we won’t be ready tomorrow - or six months from now. Growth is incremental. Challenges don’t always shrink, we just grow into them.

When you think about it, it’s as if almost by accident, you circle back to that old dream or challenge. You stand on the same edge that once turned your stomach, and realise it doesn’t feel quite so high anymore. The drop hasn’t changed. You have.

I think about this often. How many things I once found overwhelming now feel almost gentle. How many ambitions I shelved because they felt too heavy at the time, only to lift them later with surprising ease. It wasn’t that they got lighter. I just grew stronger.

So if there’s something you put aside years ago, some corner of your life that once whispered “not yet,” it might be worth peeking back in. Testing the weight. Seeing how it sits now in your hands.

Because “not now” doesn’t have to mean “not ever.” It might just mean the person you were then wasn’t quite ready… but the person you are today might be.